I can Work From Home is a new blog I have started to help you reach your bottom line! There are alot of crooks out there, and I'm NOT going to charge you or ask you for money for this information! As with this blog its from information I have found, and another resource for those effected by abuse. I started it so people have tools to help themselves! I will add information on to it as I have time, and find the proper resources!
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I can Work From Home is a new blog I have started to help you reach your bottom line! There are alot of crooks out there, and I'm NOT going to charge you or ask you for money for this information! As with this blog its from information I have found, and another resource for those effected by abuse. I started it so people have tools to help themselves! I will add information on to it as I have time, and find the proper resources!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Labels: child abuse, Cloud and Townsend, Domestic abuse, domestic violence, fellowship, forgiveness, Remorse, repentance, sacrifice, shalking, Suffering, Wife abuse
I have learned to never trust anyone because I will be hurt. My stepdad hurt me. My mom blamed me. My dad abandoned me. I've had abusive relationships and friends who have used me. The friends I have now I keep at an arms length but I want to learn how to trust and be close to someone. Where do I start?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Labels: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, repentance, sacrifice, Wife abuse
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Labels: child abuse, Domestic abuse, domestic violence, fellowship, forgiveness, headship, healing, Remorse, repentance, sacrifice, submission, Suffering, weaker vessel, Wife abuse
I realize this isn't a faith based idea, but what an awesome tool that people can use! As a Christian we are asked to do this on a regular basis, and this could be a good tool to show the world about our faith. Take advantage of this and use it for his Glory!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Labels: child abuse, Domestic abuse, domestic violence, forgiveness, headship, Remorse, repentance, sacrifice, submission, Suffering, Wife abuse
I found this article on Religion and child abuse.
For three hours Tuesday, Robert Hale blamed his wife and family for his troubles, denied ever assaulting his children, and said he only "gave corrections" out of biblical duty and a father's love.
Then the judge cut him off, called him a liar, and sent him to prison on a 14-year sentence for rape, coercion and incest.
Thus did Papa Pilgrim's long journey end this week in an Anchorage courtroom.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Labels: child abuse, Domestic abuse, domestic violence, fellowship, forgiveness, headship, healing, Remorse, repentance, sacrifice, sexual abuse, shalking, submission, Suffering, weaker vessel, Wife abuse
Rev. Mears on People Helping People Ministries has an article called "Church Speak" or What Language does your church speak!
I really think he did a good job of showing how some churches use certain terms to basically get you to BEND to their way, and encourage you to keep your mouth shut!
The question he asked was a very good one!
If you have noticed “church-speak” being used within your faith community to convey their message, what has the impact been on you and others around you?
I wanted to take a couple of his examples in his article that I personally could relate to. I draw from not only my personal experiences, but those I hear from on regular basis...or even just ONCE!
Angry: What a person is deemed to be when they tell the truth about something that has happened. Because you are "angry" and have a "bitter spirit" your legitimate concerns and issues can be written off and ignored. After all, "you are the one with the problem", not the actual offender, especially if the offender is a pastor or elder.
How often have victims of abuse been in this place? They encourage you to come with your burdens, but you had better DARN well say them in a fashion they feel is proper!
I have come along some pretty wicked articles aimed towards abused people, and in their attempt to reach out they may have said something out of frustation. The response is more of, "What you think you are an angel or something?" They also never address the concerns they came with. They are more concerned with HOW they have been approached.
A Family matter: When the church leadership doesn't want the embarrassment of public disclosure in the community at large regarding a scandal in the church, that scandal becomes a "family matter" and is not to be discussed with people outside of the church or group. That the community at large has a vital and legitimate interest in the matter is ignored, even when the matter involves wrong-doing such as criminal sexual conduct, child or wife abuse, a suspicious death and so on. In such cases the primary reason for something to be "a family matter" is so the leadership or church can "save face".
LOL or not deal with it! Denial, Diversion, etc! This one always blows me away! I just don't understand it. I mean the bible states we are to bring things into the light, and for all kinds of sinful reasons they feel it shouldn't see the 'light of day'
A Jezebel Spirit: (1) A term used specifically to describe a woman who is "unteachable". (2) Also used to describe a woman in the congregation or group who has the audacity to seek to publicly expose the unwanted and unasked for sexual harassment she received from the pastor or other prominent male church member. Such harassment usually fits the definition of a criminal sexual offense as defined by statute law, and exposure would result in negative publicity in the community at large.
Oh yeah! Major BLECK!
Teachable: You are "teachable" when you passively accept what you are taught without questioning the exegesis or logic.
We don't want to take sides: This phrase is used to avoid making any decision at all which would deal with the abuse which was taking place in the situation.
If you read the entire article I sure some of what this author writes will strike a cord with you.
For me it seems that others use these things to take the burdens off themselves, and place them on others. It like what Jesus describes when he speaks in Matthew:
Matthew 23:1-13 GW Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, (2) "The scribes and the Pharisees teach with Moses' authority. (3) So be careful to do everything they tell you. But don't follow their example, because they don't practice what they preach. (4) They make loads that are hard to carry and lay them on the shoulders of the people. However, they are not willing to lift a finger to move them. (5) "They do everything to attract people's attention. They make their headbands large and the tassels on their shawls long. (6) They love the place of honor at dinners and the front seats in synagogues. (7) They love to be greeted in the marketplaces and to have people call them Rabbi. (8) But don't make others call you Rabbi, because you have only one teacher, and you are all followers. (9) And don't call anyone on earth your father, because you have only one Father, and he is in heaven. (10) Don't make others call you a leader, because you have only one leader, the Messiah. (11) The person who is greatest among you will be your servant. (12) Whoever honors himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be honored. (13) "How horrible it will be for you, scribes and Pharisees! You hypocrites! You lock people out of the kingdom of heaven. You don't enter it yourselves, and you don't permit others to enter when they try.
Now only to churches come across as scribes and Pharisees, but they missed the point of servant leadership that Jesus speaks about. In today's world I have to wonder if that is why most don't seek to be become part of the body of Christ seen in churches. At times they can sure mention alot of awesome scripture, and when comes down to it........they can't call sin a sin, and goodness knows you had better not question them GENTLY or otherwise!
I see that is the biggest debit of the church at times, and they wonder why most don't follow them. I don't see the gentle rebuke most of the time do you? I see others coming down HARD on people, and try to tell you it is out of LOVE! I sure see alot of judgement, stereotypes, and lack of compassion in alot of areas. The church is so gifted in some areas, but others they fail miserably.
If effects people in all walks of life, but sadly it effects the church as whole to me. They aren't being the effective ministers to lead those to the truth, because maybe they are confused as to what it is themselves!
Friday, November 23, 2007
Labels: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, forgiveness, headship, Poem, Wife abuse
But, please know through my faith in God I have not only
survived.....I have a happy life.
she stood with eyes aglaze always alone;
in the only prison she'd ever known.
Trapped by forces of trust, that were merely dust,
she stood mighty and strong
and wondered what she'd done wrong?
He put her there to keep her near.
Her only guilt--she'd been to0 sincere
in desperation and stupidity of youth,
she thought he to be one of truth.
Long since she escaped his twisted ways;
long ago, thousands of days.
But, still the wounds ground forever in her soul;
everyday she still wakes--she pays the toll.
Jackie Hooper 2005
What It Means To Be A Victim
A Chosen Vessel
Will You Love me To Death
Saturday Night Special
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Labels: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, headship, Remorse, repentance, sacrifice, shalking, submission, Suffering, weaker vessel, Wife abuse, wiretapping
Focus Ministries came out with a book called, "Violence Among Us Ministry to Families in Crisis"
In the Christian community, one in every four women experiences family violence. As the awareness and incidence of domestic violence increase, however, pastors find themselves ill-equipped to deal with the crisis. There is very little training, if any, provided in seminary on this subject. The challenge for every pastor and counselor is to go beyond a casual awareness of the problem to the harsh reality of this epidemic, to move past apathy to conviction, and to turn empathy into compelling action.
Some of the reviews of the book so far include:
“Here is a book that exposes the well hidden secret of abuse within the home – yes, even the Christian home! As a pastor I have long ago concluded that those of us in leadership must create an atmosphere where victims can safely tell their story and get the help they need. My prayer is that this book will be widely read and be used to give mothers and children the courage to go for help rather than suffer the long term consequences of abuse. And those who read this book will be ready to provide a helpful response when the need arises.” —Dr. Erwin W. Lutzer, Senior Pastor, The Moody Church, Chicago, IL
"I have known Brenda Branson and Paula Silva for many years. They have a track record that is unexcelled when it comes to understanding the issue of domestic abuse. I always have found their work to be impeccable and their insights to be intelligent. Violence Among Us: Ministry to Families in Crisis is no exception. I highly recommend it to pastors, women's ministry directors, Sunday School teachers and any layperson who cares about the families around them who, often behind closed doors, are imploding with abuse. Someday, we all will give an account for what we have done in this life, so may we be educated and responsible in our response to the victims of abuse and their abusers." —Jan Silvious, author, Foolproofing Your Life
Looks like an awesome book! Click on link above, and order it today!
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Bayis Cherpah B'Yisrael blog noted the following story. They are asking for stories that you may share in confidence!
Please go to this blog, and share your story!
New generation of rabbis encouraging battered Orthodox women to seek help, involve police. Welfare minister: Conspiracy of silence on this issue slowly being broken
David Regev Published: 10.11.07, 12:59 / Israel Jewish Scene
The number of calls made to hotlines for victims of domestic violence in the Orthodox community has increased three-fold over the past few years, Yedioth Ahronoth reported Thursday.
The number of haredi women who called the hotlines jumped from 477 in 2004 to 1,402 in 2007, while the number of women who were housed in shelters for battered women each month nearly doubled, from 24 to 40 on average.
Attorney Noah Korman, who established the first shelter for abused haredi women in 2000 and opened a second one two years later said, "The phenomenon of violence against women exists in the Orthodox community just as it does in any other, but it was not made public as it was in the secular sector. Haredi women preferred to keep it secret. It must be remembered that domestic violence brings great shame on an Orthodox family."
According to him, haredi women turned to the hotlines and shelters as a last resort.
"Women who arrived here did so after suffering years of abuse, when they felt they were in danger and could not take it anymore," Korman said.
'It's strictly forbidden to beat a woman'
He said the change in the rabbis' position regarding the phenomenon was also instrumental encouraging more abused women in the community to seek help.
"Haredi women are becoming more and more aware of the dangers related to domestic violence, and the new generation of rabbis is encouraging them to file complaints and break the cycle (of violence)," Korman said.
David Yosef, the rabbi of Jerusalem's Har Nof neighborhood and the son of Shas spiritual leader Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, declared on Wednesday that it was "strictly forbidden to beat a woman.
"If the need arises to involve the police in this matter, then they should be involved," he said.
Korman said most of the violent incidents against haredi women take place on Shabbat due to the fact that on weekdays the men are usually studying at yeshiva or tending to other matters.
He said that in many cases the violence erupts at the Shabbat diner table, adding that many of the haredi women arrive at the shelters with their children, "sometimes with nine or 10 of them".
On Wednesday Welfare Minister Issac Herzog visited a shelter for battered haredi women for the first time.
"The conspiracy of silence regarding violence against Orthodox women is slowly being broken, and we plan on helping them as best we can," he said.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
I saw this article my Al Miles on this blog, and I personally don't wish to speak of STATS! Lets face facts...the world downplays abuse no matter WHOM is being abused!
It was a good read worth looking at!
Saturday, November 03, 2007
I saw this video this morning, and I bet if our pets were capable of what this author's kitty can do........lol they would do it! Anyone with a hungry pet should be able to relate! Thank GOODNESS pets are capable huh?
Friday, November 02, 2007
Labels: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, fellowship, forgiveness, headship, healing, Remorse, repentance, submission, Suffering, weaker vessel, Wife abuse
Therapist Unlimited Blog brought my attention to the story of Rev. Unnia Pettus, Ph.D.
For the full story LINK
After years of emotional and physical abuse behind closed doors, and both being seen as active Christians.......she tried to kill herself to escape.
I found another blog called Unity First that spoke about the book she wrote.
Article from the Washington Post about her had a quote:
"The fact of the matter is what happens in the broader community can happen within the body of Christ," said the Rev. Jonathan Weaver, pastor of Greater Mount Nebo African Methodist Episcopal Church. "The church is not a haven for saints, but a hospital. For the longest time, talking about domestic violence has been off-limits, but it is a vexing problem plaguing our community."
Here is a link to her book at Amazon
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Labels: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, fellowship, forgiveness, headship, healing, Remorse, repentance, sacrifice, submission, Suffering, weaker vessel, Wife abuse
Entire Article of Home is Where The Hurt Is
Here is a portion of the article listed above. To read the whole thing please click on the link above.
The Church's Role
For Christian women, faith may become another obstacle
to leaving an abusive and dangerous marriage. For women like Laura, some
teachings may confuse rather than clarify:
I think the church's contribution takes place much earlier than when it is finally perceived you are abused. So many times when I was frustrated with my husband, I leaned on my faith. My beliefs were about "turning the other cheek," "for better or worse," "treat others as you would like to be treated," all the sort of phrases that speak of unconditional love. They are profound, and they teach great things. But the church gives young women no perspective about protection, self-preservation, empowerment. Maybe these ideas are threatening in a basically patriarchal system. But the lack of them leads a well-intentioned wife to believe that selfless love comes before self-preservation. I was never taught to assess how others treated me. I was never taught that it was okay to stand up for myself.
In the family of faith, those who understand the servanthood of Christ and the concept of mutual submission within marriage -- and whose experience does not include domestic violence -- may see no problem with Ephesians 5:22-24:
"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Yet if we could see how some Christian husbands use these verses to justify their abuse, we would have second thoughts. In Jenny's marriage, her church-going, Bible-savvy husband interspersed his tirades with Scripture, but she says, "It was always used to hurt me."
Unfortunately, a woman who finally overcomes her denial, self-doubt and fear to seek help from the clergy may find someone who uses the same verses to send her back to do a better job of being a wife. Even if her pastor is sympathetic, he may not be knowledgeable.
Many survivors of domestic abuse complain that even if they were taken seriously, the attention automatically focused on the abuser -- restoring him in order to restore the marriage. A woman whose husband has controlled her and robbed her of autonomy needs more than a church intent on controlling the outcome of her situation. She needs a safe, neutral and compassionate place where she will not have to fight for believability and where she can find comfort while gaining the strength to take steps to provide safety for herself and her children.
Rev. Fortune says: "Treatment of families experiencing violence and abuse requires integrating the needs of the whole person. Thus the importance of developing a shared understanding and cooperation between secular and religious helpers to deal with family violence cannot be emphasized too strongly.
"Occasionally, a social worker, psychotherapist or other secular service provider will wonder, 'Why bother with religious concerns at all?' The answer is a very practical one: religious issues or concerns which surface for people in the midst of crisis are primary issues. If not addressed in some way at some point, they will inevitably become roadblocks to the client's efforts to resolve the crisis and move on with her life.
"For a pastoror other person approaching family violence from a religious perspective, there is little question about the relevance of religious concerns. Rather, they may doubt the importance of dealing with concerns for shelter, safety, intervention and treatment. [They may think], 'These people just need to get right with God and everything will be fine.'"
In cases of domestic violence there are urgent needs which just can't wait until the abuser is willing and able to "get right with God." There are resources available -- though, as is often the case, the secular world is way ahead of the church in addressing this social problem and providing help.
Christians can do better than we have in helping women trapped by
1) Clergy can draw women out of isolation by opening the subject from the pulpit. As one pastor reports in the video, When You PreachRemember Me, "After preaching on this subject for the first time, the floodgates opened up, and a number of women came to me saying it was the first time they knew they could." Men also need to hear what is not acceptable and to know they can change.
2) We need to familiarize ourselves with the resources available to victims of domestic violence and make referrals to these agencies. At best, we might start volunteering to help in these agencies ourselves, working alongside those who are more knowledgeable and learning how to better serve those in need.
3) We need to stand ready to believe a woman who says she is abused and stay focused on her and her needs until she is safe.But first we need the humility to admit how far we have to go. Though our longing to serve wherever there is need might lead us to be on the cutting edge of understanding society's problems, often as not Christians remain not only unmoved by the pain and suffering outside church walls, but also blissfully unaware of that within.
And so while Jenny may have arranged the flowers on the altar, held our babies in the nursery and received communion with us a hundred times, we don't really know who she is. Unless a way is prepared for her to break the silence of fear and shame and doubt, we never will.
Barbara Curtis established a San Francisco crisis intervention program for rape victims, which is still in existence. She became a Christian in 1987.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
AlterNet had this story on their blog today, and I just couldn't pass it up because of the INSANE reasoning this judge had!
Domestic violence cases are notoriously difficult to prosecute.
But every once in a while, prosecutors get handed the tools for a conviction on a silver platter: An impartial eyewitness who just happens to be a police officer.
Such was the case in a domestic violence trial that made the local papers here in Maryland last week. A cop pulling into an Exxon station saw a man hit his girlfriend in the face three times, called in back-up and had the man arrested.
But according to Anne Arundel County Circuit Judge Paul Harris, who is "probably as against domestic violence as anybody, when the case is proven," one can't simply assume that a woman who is being hit didn't consent to the attack. "Sadomasochists sometimes like to get beat up," the judge reminded the courtroom--then acquitted the man.
The judge appeared to be in a snit because the girlfriend, the alleged victim in the attack, had disappeared, even though she had been ordered to testify. Ignoring decades of research proving that domestic violence victims are often too afraid and intimidated to testify against perpetrators, the judge discounted the female cop's eyewitness account.
Can you imagine?? He has a police officer as a eye witness, and he questions if it was done on purpose! WOW!
The link above has a video news story on this as well!
According to the Baltimore Sun:
The amazing part was the Judge Harris's comments afterward. You have to wonder how much he needed....maybe a video?
According to charging documents, a police officer was on routine patrol when she saw Michael Antonio Webb approach a car at an Exxon station in Laurel. Webb reached in the driver's side door and swung his hand three times at the driver, police said.
Webb, 24, of Columbia is 6 feet, 3 inches tall and weighs 315 pounds, according to charging documents. Now serving a four-year prison term after pleading guilty to a drug distribution charge in June, Webb was unavailable for comment yesterday but had pleaded not guilty in the assault case.
His attorney, Kara Donaldson, was out of the country and could not be reached for comment yesterday.
The officer testified in court that she was 25 feet from the car at the time of the incident.
"I witnessed him use his right hand, not in a fist, but in, I guess, an open hand, and push the female's face. ... As I saw him grabbing her hair ... and trying to pull her out, that's when I called it on the radio," the officer said, according to a recording of the hearing.
The woman told the officer that Webb had attempted to pull her out of the vehicle, causing her hairpiece to fall off, and that he hit her in the face, though she characterized it as "more of a tap than a punch." The woman had no visible injuries, police said.
The officer testified, "She appeared scared. She was talking very quiet to me. She wasn't making eye contact with him."
But Harris, in an interview in his office yesterday, said the state did not prove its case, saying there was "too much speculation."Harris noted that the jury instructions on charges of second-degree assault say that it must be proved that "the defendant's actions were not consented to by the victim.""How do you determine that without the victim?" Harris said, adding that criticism of his handling of the case was "blown out of proportion."
Harris said the sadomasochist comment was intended as a hypothetical. "I'm probably as against domestic violence as anybody, when the case is proven."
Here is a Link from the Baltimore Sun AUDIO Version of the verdict itself!
Lynn McLain, a professor at the University of Baltimore, said: "Very often, domestic violence victims do not appear and do not testify, and often that is because they are intimidated by the abuser."
Of the judge's comments, McLain said, "It certainly seems to me these comments were unusual. ... They were inappropriate. And I would suspect that those comments would be reported to the [Commission of Judicial Disabilities], and they would investigate to see whether they were inappropriate."
I personally hope the judge gets nailed GOOD! No matter WHO comes to him with a domestic abuse case you know HOW he is going to rule! I can only imagine what he would have said if it was the other gender was assaulted! I'm sure equally as insulting. Do Judges NOT have the responsibility to keep up with WHY things are done the way they are? His lack of Domestic Violence knowledge is appalling!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Labels: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, fellowship, forgiveness, headship, Mary Winkler, Matthew Winkler, Remorse, repentance, submission, Suffering, weaker vessel, Wife abuse
Ponderings on a Faith Journey Wrote about Mary Winker's conviction of killing her Husband.
But the family, as traumatized as they must be, aren't the only parties involved. There is also a church, now without a pastor and facing questions about its judgment in selecting a pastor. From Ted Parks' article in the Church of Christ magazine the Christian Chronicle, we find out more about what's going on from within.
**The church’s progress after the shattering loss does not mean the congregation fully comprehends what happened the Wednesday morning in March 2006 when Matthew Winkler died.
**“The pieces just do not fit together,” said Fourth Street rember Pam Killingsworth. “I think there’s some things that weren’t meant to be understood. And we’re just going to have to live with that fact and go on with our lives.
**“At this point,” she added, “I’m ready just to give it to God, and let him take care of it.”
Indeed, this is a tragedy that affects families, congregations, and the church at large. in a week when we contemplate acts of violence, we find that this story is added to the others, and we grieve and we wonder. We pray and hope for better days.
Mary Winkler's story reminds us that even within the sanctity of a family, yes a clergy family, all may not be right. It's too bad that Mary didn't have a safe haven, but as is true of many pastor's wives there appears to have been no place to go and so she suffered in silence so as not to embarrass her husband -- until it was too late.
Within his writings he posted to an article Winkler case tests church, pulls it closer. It speaks of the Winker's church, and their moving on after this awful situtation that has happened.
Personally, the article really bothered me (Not the blogger - the article he linked to). They spoke alot about the ways they are moving on, and claims of being very much closer. I have to wonder how that can be since they have never truly dealt with the fact domestic abuse or violence effected their church in such a way....and yet they won't really speak about it. I'm NOT saying they need to take sides, or that they are not praying enough for this family after the fact. They spoke of the grieving and the forgiving and the almost constant prayers for all involved.
They have yet to speak about Domestic Abuse. It truly doesn't matter if they FEEL she isn't telling the truth about their beloved Pastor. The fact they have to KNOW some have doubts should give the opportunity to open that door! They had the opportunity to educate people on this, and make sure they KNEW they were a safe haven to come to in times of trouble. Instead they choose to basically say they feel that maybe some things are not meant to be understood.......and they will give it to God.
Domestic violence or abuse in all forms effects such HUGE numbers of people, and YES it is very confusing to deal with! It makes NO SENSE in alot of cases, and I can understand WHY other's doubt because of that! If you educate yourself on this subject it will make more sense. I think that is where the huge lacking is started. Like the Church of the Winklers "we don't understand so we will give it to God" is used out of fear I guess. It breaks my heart because the church could make this HUGE impact on lifes if they would TRY to understand. We will never understand it all, or never "GET" all of it. The mindsets are very complex, but the basics would be nice!
In the years since I started this blog I have found very little as far as sermons that I could post on this subject. I have asked Pastor's in the past WHY that is as well. There were all kinds of responses that to me were based more in FEAR and lack of ACCEPTANCE of their flock towards this issue being heard more than anything. The secular world is pulling ahead of them because of this bubble they tend to try to hide in. People have said SOME ways of worshiping (denominations) are more prone to allow this to happen than others. I personally dont believe that. There is no place where more blame is to placed. We are all guilty.
If they feel I'm wrong........ask them when is the last time they did a sermon on domestic abuse in their church. NOT a mention of it - the THEME! The SURE numbers of people - men and women - children and extended families that are effected by this should show they SHOULD be preaching about it! I think part of it is they are afraid they will open the floodgates within their church, and I can understand that as well! That is WHY you get your support network in PLACE before you do that! Their are ministries and local agencies that WILL respect your faith, and want to help your flock. They don't have to take this on alone, NOR should they! The basics should be understood so you can send them places that they can get help, and churches can support and help on the spiritual aspect! THERE your load is lightened already! LOL! There is nothing wrong with it either - you need experts!
Prayers are needed that these stories in the news lately of domestic abuse within Christian homes will WAKE UP some to speak against this awful AWFUL sin that is happening everywhere! We are to come along side and help the wounded. We have to educate ourselves FIRST, and then finally when ready take that toe and dip it into the waters of a world we have just begun to understand.
We as the church can do this! Lets us show the world HOW MUCH SO!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Labels: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, fellowship, forgiveness, Remorse, repentance, Suffering
I found a good article on domestic abuse on the catholic online website. It speaks about a priest that is very active in the mission of helping victims of domestic violence.
Testimony by throngs of women being brutally victimized - humiliated, beaten and murdered - has caught the attention of social service agencies, law enforcement and the courts along with hospital emergency rooms, but churches have been slow to join in the fight against domestic violence.
Sadly, we already know that don't we. The next comment shows the fear I feel is within this subject for the church.
Since then, he’s learned to identify the signs of domestic abuse. “It’s a common social problem” that comes veiled in excuses and cloaked in embarrassment, shame and fear, he said. Women come in looking for “help for their husbands. They say, ‘he drinks too much and has a problem with anger.’ ” Father Dahm, the co-founder of Chicago’s 8th Day Center for Justice and an outspoken advocate for day laborers, economic justice and the homeless, knows what lies under those concerns - “she’s a victim of abuse.
“I think (the clergy) has to look it right in the eye,” he said. This means broaching the issue in the homily, perhaps in the form of an example for the purpose of making a point pertaining to violence. In his message to priests and deacons, he warned, “If you talk about it, then be prepared because the floodgates are going to open.”
I think at times people are so unprepared, and SO uneducated on this subject that is something they wish to avoid. Lets face it the church has alot on their plate at times, and when you look at how complex this can get - it must be overwhelming to them. I'm NOT justifying it - it just is!
Although the priest may be the one the victim seeks for help, it doesn’t mean that he has to become a family counselor. “I’m someone who is a bridge for them, to get them through to safety. I connect them with resources, then I don’t have to worry about it.”
I realize the above statement may sound a little cold, but it is truth! People need experts in the field when it come to this subject! You don't have to ever be hit by your partner or spouse for it never to happen! The weave of confusion over this subject truly needs the hands of experts! I think the church at times wants so badly to be 'hands on', and being the subject matter is so scarey and unbelieveable they tend to avoid, enable and make excuses instead. Sadly, that's human nature for alot of subjects.
When a woman opens the door to the secret pain in her life, he said, “How we respond in the first 15 seconds is critical.” It may knock a priest or deacon off base for a moment, especially if the woman and her spouse are highly respected members of the parish community, but her cry for help deserves an empathic response. He advised the clergy to offer immediate support with a phrase such as, “That’s terrible. How can I help you?”
Attention must be paid to the woman’s emotional state of mind, he added. “You have to give them permission to talk about the situation. You have to hold the abuser accountable.”
Having witnessed the result of brutality and ruled over the murderous consequences of abuse, Deacon Welter is unwavering in his attitude toward violence. He routinely tells women, “You have a right to be safe and free from harm.”
Meanwhile, churches need to become “user-friendly” by keeping a supply of pamphlets on-hand to help women in violent situations. “You don’t put them out in the narthex, where he can see you taking it or everyone in church can see you; put them in the bathroom,” she said. The USCCB has available “palm-size cards” with hotline numbers for help that she can put in her purse.”
How easy that would be, but I'm afraid some churches may get to many complaints.
The article link is referenced above, and its worth your time!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
First off I want to say that I feel badly for what has happened in their lives - both her and husband's!
I also want to say I'm not so sure I agree with the avenue she seems to be taking. She mentions at the beginning of the video that people were offering prayers for her after this happened. Those prayers made her feel weak. That made me feel uneasy right off the bat! I'm NOT saying prayers can't do that to a person, but I would assume those prayers were meant to uplift her in this awful time in her life! They were not given with some manipulative tone that you hear some use them as! WHY would she see those prayers as a Damsel in Distress? The Victim? She may have a similar experience to a lot of people when it comes to domestic abuse, but I sincerely believe she isn't ready to become advocate of this cause! How many people that have had this happen to them are emotionally, physically, etc ready for such a job? She was silent on this issue as she mentions, but now wishes to speak out. Speaking out is fine - especially about her OWN experiences maybe...or others since he is in the front of the media as well.
Having had this happen to you doesn't automatically give you the green light to become an advocate! There are a lot of things you must learn, and changes within yourself you MUST happen before then! It doesn't just TAKE a couple of weeks either! She might be a wonderful advocate somewhere down the road, and I'm NOT saying she can't speak on the issue! She doesn't have the qualifications to be an advocate in the realm in which I think she means! I have to wonder if she is getting caught up in this whole mess! I'm sure she means well!
I agree with her stating that most of the world HIDES from this issue, and its no secret what I feel with in the faith realm in regarding to that statement! They are lacking worse in more cases than the secular world! If she brings this cause UPFRONT where it belongs I'm all for that, but she has to be VERY careful with how she plans to do that! She has a lot of healing that needs to be done, and I'm NOT saying God isn't calling her to this cause....that isn't my MINE to call! I think she is pushing way to hard for now, and needs to concentrate on HER! She could be a very good spokesperson down the road, but she is to broken...because SHE is human like anyone else and that DOESN'T make you WEAK to admit that! All people that are involved in domestic abuse are broken, and that doesn't mean LESS THAN or objects of PITY! That doesn't HAND them the trophy of VICTIM HOOD! lol! People get so carried away with that! People become broken with all kinds of uglies in this life, and restoring yourself is part of it as well! Granted some roads are worse than others, and some woundedness is worse as well! She needs to stop thinking in terms of stereotypes, and realize she is human and its okay to say I'M Broken but I'm working on being RESTORED! With abuse the mindset of the individual must also change - that job isn't just for the abuser!
By her own admission the NIGHT in the parking lot was the first clue that her relationship had a bit more problems than usual. She hid her issues, and she didn't speak out about them. Why? I believe she has stated before she speaks of other aspects of her life! Abuse THRIVES in silence, and her judgement call she needs to admit was AWFUL...not just mention this is something she kept to herself! Her denial of the past is part of moving forward, and owning your part in this! The denial keeps us within the relationship! Our hiding does also! YES there are reasons for that, but if we can't even admit the hiding and denial was there.....lol when is the healing and growing going to begin? I mean that aspect of this! If she didn't have the wealth and the power to rid herself of him from her life.......would he really be gone now? I'm sure she might say YES, but when you are a different position...you just never know!
One point she did make VERY well is the fact that you didn't see to many celebrities or public people speaking out about THEIR experiences with this did you? Society as a WHOLE does in a lot of ways place this on the back burner as people that fight for this cause get burnt to a crisp with their efforts to change! There was a lot of media on this, and a lot of opinions on WHO did what WHEN...Who said THIS or THAT...and she is RIGHT! That isn't the issue here! Domestic abuse needs to come out of the closet! October is domestic violence month, and there are other causes as well that use this month....and you see a lot MORE coverage for that! It is a very scary subject for ALL involved, but if we are make a difference it has to be HEARD and recognized! She may be able to HELP there, but that is AFTER she heals herself! If that makes her feel weak.....she needs to check her pride a bit! Everyone involved with abuse has to do that, and its not easy.....and if she feels she will overcome THAT is part of it!
I will admit I don't know much about her story, but her not willing to admit to that reporter that she had been in another relationship with abuse.......just shows its a pattern in her life! Its very well documented if you don't take care of your issues it WILL happen again! Getting them OUT of your life is just the first one! Separation from the abuser is just the very FIRST baby step towards making yourself abuse free! That doesn't mean you won't run into an abusive personality again - it means you are better equipped to deal with it properly! We can see it sooner before the horror takes over our lives! We learn when to walk away EARLIER even if it breaks our hearts, and we are STRONG enough to use the LAW if necessary to KEEP them away for good! We are OKAY with people NOT agreeing with us, and are still very comfortable with what we feel! We find ways of NOT allowing people to make us feel stupid, worthless, or as if we deserves this! There are ALL kinds of factors that you may have - and another person has a different set to own! If we have a pattern in our lives, and that doesn't always have to be bad relationships in the past........we have certain mindsets we MUST get ourselves out of as well!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Labels: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, fellowship, forgiveness, headship, Remorse, repentance, sacrifice, submission, Suffering, weaker vessel
It can be so refreshing to hear a pastor from time to time "GET IT"! Its sad that a time came in which it was his secretary was the victim, and she died from it. From her death came a voice, and he sure says a mouthful!
Friends, as we rally today in the awareness of the domestic violence that diminishes the integrity of men and women, and of our homes and communities, let us rally today, in the hope of domestic peace, and the assurance that it is never God's will that anyone of God's precious children, whether boys or girls, men or women, old or young - it is never God's intention - to use boy-friends and husbands as instruments of divine punishment or retribution. It is never God's intention that anyone live in fear in their own home. It is never the intention of God that anyone should live in captivity and fear. So let us rally in the hope of domestic peace, knowing that peace in our time is God's will. Let us rally in the hope of domestic peace, knowing that the kingdom of God is not reflected in notions about the home being a man's castle. Let us rally in the hope of domestic peace, knowing if you are a Christian, that Christ came to bring peace to you; knowing that if you are Jewish, that the peace of the house is the shalom of right relationships; knowing that if you are Muslim, that in Islam is peace; knowing even if you are not sure what you believe, or if do not believe, that there can be no justification, no excuse, no rationalization for harming those you have made a solemn promise to love.
To often churches speak from an enabling point of view, and often push people to endure the abuse because of their faith. Jesus and all his faithful followers that came after him that died - died for a purpose! That purpose was our faith in our God, and our way of believing and living as he would have us. Some would say that we would be in sin if we sought a safe place. Some throw the fact that "WOMEN" are to obey their husbands! They twist and turn so much it makes a person that is hurting more dizzy, confused and feeling abandon. We are to suffer together in fellowship at times, but in seems with domestic abuse sadly most are left to themselves.
We practice hiding, ignoring and even PERPETUATING abuse of all kinds onto both women and men within the christian fellowships. Our legal system is very slow moving at times of much help that is needed to victims, and sadly the church is even slower! People are placed in a REAL nasty position of being encouraged to stay within the home that abuse is happening, and when they do are at times sneered at about their decision - to either stay or LEAVE! People are placed in a hypocritical place of either leave the church, or stay and ignore the abuse within your home. BOTH ways they are giving up on the spiritual fellowship, guidance, support that they are very desperate need of!
I will close with another quote from the author, and if you click the link on the articles title it will send you to the entire thing.
All too often I hear the Scriptures of my faith quoted in justification of abuse and harm, when they were meant to provide God's grace for families like yours and like mine to fulfill their dream of peace. All too often, women who are seeking advice from their clergy or faith leaders have been told to go back, to put up with it, to be quiet and be more obedient, when what they should have been told was that their lives are precious in God's sight, and that the abuse they are experiencing is grievous to the heart of God. All too often, communities of faith have tacitly condoned the actions of abusers by their silence or worse yet have reinforced the patterns and cycles of abuse by defending the false sanctity of so-called traditional family values.
But God's intention for households of peace is given from the opening chapters of the Biblical witness, and is continued right through to the very chapters so often quoted from the Apostle Paul as justification for the subjugation of women: for in the same sentence where Paul so famously speaks of obedience, Paul commands: Husbands, love your wives, and never treat them harshly.
domestic abuse, domestic violence, submit, faith, pastor, enabling, peace in the home
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Labels: Cloud and Townsend, Domestic abuse, domestic violence, emotional abuse, fellowship, forgiveness, martial abuse, Remorse, repentance, submission, verbal abuse, weaker vessel, Wife abuse
LINK TO VIDEO
Its says don't base your boundaries on the reaction you get!
One good comment was, "When you place boundaries down with a control freak don't expect them to call you blessed!"
Its entertaining, and will make you giggle! It also has a really good message!
Boundaries, Domestic abuse, Domestic Violence, faith, abuse, screaming, bad things happen, discipline
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Applauds to Jeannie Babb Taylor and her article, "An Open Letter To Pastors"
Pastors, have you ever preached a sermon against domestic violence? Odds are, you haven’t. I’ve listened to approximately 4,000 sermons and have yet to hear a pastor condemn domestic violence from the pulpit.
Southern preachers prefer to pontificate on matters like abortion and homosexuality. Sometimes they rail against feminism. On occasion they preach against pornography, using the occasion to slam churchwomen over immodest attire. In every denomination, pastors preach often enough on tithing, and never fail to pass the plate. Yet they fail at addressing an issue faced by approximately one fourth of their congregation.
Recently a wildly popular pastor shoved the problem of Christian violence into the spotlight when he choked, kicked and stomped his wife in the parking lot of an Atlanta hotel. In the South, beating your wife may or may not be a crime. Records show that the most common law enforcement response to domestic violence is “separating the parties.” Victims rarely press charges because they fear reprisal. Law enforcement rarely presses their own charges (though they could and should), essentially treating wife-beating as a “victimless crime.”
The article starts out with!
I had to applaud and giggle at this part:
Bynum is pressing charges against Weeks and seeking to end the marriage. Attorneys for Weeks say he will contest the divorce on the grounds that she was cruel. The strangest part of this story is not that the man who kicked and stomped his wife is contesting the divorce or fighting the charges; that happens all the time. What is so bizarre is where this man was just a few days after the beating: He was behind his pulpit telling his congregation that the devil made him do it.
Finally, a preacher is talking about domestic violence! If only his congregation had responded with a resounding movement down the aisle – and right out the church door. No one should sit under the teaching of a wife-beater. The elders should have stripped this man of his title and never let him behind the pulpit again.
LOL Finally a preacher is talking about domestic violence! I love the sarcasm!
Very empowering article and worth the read!
An open letter to Pastors
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Very Touching article on What has Jesus Done In Your Life's Blog!
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself
up for her” Ephesians 5:25
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. “ Ephesians 5:22
Have you been abused in your marriage? There is not a more difficult issue that I have to deal with every day than abuse. People are abused in many ways. Physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, and financial are the most common forms of abuse and can happen at every stage of life. Children are abused. Teens are abused. Adults are abused. The elderly are abused.
This is such a sweeping, widespread issue that so many face in their life I could do an entire month of Devotionals on just this one topic alone. I have dealt with abuse many times over the years. Just earlier in the year I dealt with the sexual abuse of children. However, today I want to focus strictly on those who are in an abusive marriage.
One of the dark secrets in the church is the amount of abuse that takes place in so many homes, from pastors and those in leadership down to the person in the pew. Remember, these are not homes of people who deny God’s existence, reject the Bible as Truth, or have rejected the love of Christ. These are homes of people who do believe in God, do believe the Bible is Truth, and do believe in Jesus! These are also homes where one spouse is abusing the other, and in some cases, both spouses are abusing each other!
To people on the outside, these may look like perfect marriages. Only the husband and wife know that there is a dark side to their marriage, abuse.
Let me say that this is why I implore people to take the TIME and the EFFORT to build a spiritual foundation to their marriage BEFORE they get married. Everyone is on their best behavior, says all the right things when they are dating. However, over time, you begin to know who the person you are planning to marry really is. It is very difficult to pray with someone, read the Word with someone, go to church with someone, find ways to serve the Lord with someone, talk about all of the key issues of your future life together, do this over a year or two, and all of a sudden after you take your wedding vows discover the person you married is an abuser.
Does that happen? Yes! People do change over time. When you add in the pressure of careers, children, the issues of life we all have to face along this journey, on top of what I have always said is the most difficult thing in the world, making two flesh become one in marriage, people do change. Abuse CAN enter into even the most Christ-centered marriage. The key is to deal with it IMMEDIATELY. Don’t let abuse exist. Fight it right away. The very first time it occurs, deal with it! Otherwise, like all sin, it will only grow and get worse. ABUSE DOES NOT JUST GO AWAY OVER TIME, IT ONLY GETS WORSE OVER TIME!
Please understand that God NEVER intended you or anyone to be abused. If your husband or wife abuses you in any way, confront them immediately since they need professional and spiritual help. If the abusing spouse refuses to get help, do not be a hero! You are going to accomplish NOTHING by staying in an abusive marriage. Your very life could be at stake. Please listen to me carefully. I am NOT saying to run out and get a divorce. I am saying to separate yourself from your abusing spouse until they are willing to deal with their abuse and get professional and spiritual help.
Saying I’m sorry is NOT going to make everything better. Abusers are professional apologizers. They are masters at it. I don’t doubt that they are sincere. So is the alcoholic who is hung over, feeling like it would be better to die and vowing to never drink again. Or the gambler who loses a huge bet saying he will never bet again. Until they are serious enough to seek out help, seek the Lord for the strength to live in freedom from their abusive ways, they are not going to change. Like any addiction, an abuser has to want to stop and then take the steps necessary professionally and spiritually to get victory over their abusive ways.
Only after time has passed and the abusive spouse has shown a track record of making changes in their life, should the abused spouse even think about moving back into the same home. What are they supposed to do in the meantime? Stand in the gap for their spouse. Pray for them to turn to the Lord and find His strength to turn from their abusive ways. Press into the Lord since they will need His strength and His presence to heal and move forward with their life. The biggest trap during this time is getting
involved with someone else. Remember, you are still married! Did you really mean it when you made your vows to your spouse and to God, “For better or for worse?”
Now is the time to make your faith real, shun the wisdom of the world that says get divorced, find someone else, and move on. Take a stand for your marriage. God is NOT going to bless a relationship you get involved with outside of your marriage. As a matter of fact, it will only compound your problems. Remember, God will not and is not going to bless sin! We all come to those places in life when we have to put our faith to the test and
really trust God. It is at those moments of our life that we find our faith, we learn how to depend on and trust in God with everything we have, and come to realize that the promises in the Bible really are for us and they are true! God will protect you, provide for you, care for you, love you, and keep you as you give yourself completely to Him!
I love you and care about you so much. This issue today only highlights again how critical it is to build a strong spiritual foundation with your future spouse over a period of time PRIOR to getting married. You can potentially save yourself so much pain and heartache if you do. Marriage is an incredible blessing from God, a wonderful journey through this life with the person God has given you to share it with. It should be the greatest relationship in your life outside of your relationship with Jesus Christ. To have this person you have committed the rest of your life to abuse you is so sad and tragic.
When we talk about the abuse issue, we normally think of physical and sexual abuse. However, the most common form of abuse in most Christian marriages is verbal, emotional, and financial. For you men and women who are currently abusing your spouse in any way, you know this is not how God has called you to treat your wife or husband. Out of the billions of people on this planet, this is the ONE PERSON God has given to you to share your life with. Why would you abuse that person in any way? God is speaking to you today. God is telling you today to get the help you need, professionally and spiritually. Being an abuser is no different than being an alcoholic, drug addict, or having any other bondage. You need God to set you free!
I will be praying for you today. Praying that the Holy Spirit will bring you under conviction and that you will fall on you knees today and ask God to forgive you. Then go get the help you need to find freedom from your abusive ways. I will also be praying for you wives and husbands who are being abused. I pray that God will watch over you and protect you, that He will give you the strength to stand up to your abusive spouse and hold them accountable for their abuse. That the Lord will help you to make whatever
tough choices you have to make so that you are not living your life each day being abused. I will be praying for God to bring healing to your life, help you to forgive your spouse so that you can move forward.
In the end, this tragic issue like all boils down to Jesus. Those who live in rebellion to God and His Word, who have rejected Christ’s love in their life, will never understand why you need to be saved and marry someone who is also saved They will never comprehend why it is so critical to build a spiritual foundation to your relationship PRIOR to getting married. They have bought the lies of this world that sex is a sport to play with whoever
is willing. They wake up one morning, their lives are a mess, they have been abused in every way imaginable, and they can’t understand why. For them, their only hope and answer is to know Jesus and allow Him to bring healing to their life and transform them into a new creature in Christ.
For those who know the Lord as their Savior, they have no excuse for not calling on His name. We all sin and do things we wish we didn’t do. The key, however, is recognizing our sinful actions, repenting, and asking the Lord to forgive us. We need to remember that when we are weak, He is strong, and to call upon His strength to live a life pleasing and acceptable to the Lord. God does not desire anyone to abuse their spouse but to love
them like He loves us. God does not desire that anyone lives in an abusive marriage, but one of peace and love with Christ at the center.
In His love and service,
Your friend and brother in Christ,
This author also invites you to contact him - please see the link above for contact information.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Link to Story
I was shocked to read this story coming from a pastor - a man of God! Oh my GOODNESS!
I'm not saying he doesn't make any points at all, but his generalizing and stereotyping is AWFUL! According to the Pastor women are naturally angry and domineering until they are 'truly saved'.
My 17 years of counseling with couples and families have shown that when emotional abuse is also taken into account, most often the perpetrators are women.
The dominating and angry spirit that is within many women (until they are truly saved) drives them to destroy their marriages and corrupt children. This is a hard reality that society must acknowledge and deal with straight-up.
Ever since the original corruption of the first woman in the Garden of Eden by the serpent – and man's failure to resist or correct her – that same malevolent spirit has been destroying the relationship between men and women. (And to this day, men continue to perpetuate women's contempt for them by being weak, selfish and angry.)
WOW talk about just a little jaded in his prospective of women overall! I'm NOT going to say there are not some down right evil women on this earth! I would NEVER say that women don't hit or even KILL men! If some strange feminist want to claims that - more power to them! I mean they will have a bunch of people (notice no gender there) giggling at their ignorance!
On the other hand, women by nature overall are NOT weak, selfish and angry primarily! As far as agression goes I would assume we are to NOT look into those studies about testosterone or anything right? We should ignore the silly teachings of society when they encourage men NOT to cry because they won't be 'real' men and stuff their real feelings down?!
Lets just take a look at the a bunch of young adults like those in High School. Who are the ones primary doing the phyiscal damage in their fun, and which have the vicious cat fights, etc. SURE there are exceptions to the rules, and I'm sure with some groups of high schooler's there are just the opposite...girls that damage and boys that are in the cat fights! There are always exceptions to the rule...I mean we are humans here!
Christians need to search their hearts about what it really means to be "born again." Only then will they be able to reject false preachers and resist the forces that seek to destroy God's order, and the bond between man and woman.
I personally feel this pastor needs to do the same thing. He has a jaded and false view of women overall, so how can he be teaching them properly?
MOST of the article has to do with the fact Juanita is going to get 'innocent' plead, and make loads of money off of shaming her husband. Hints of you don't know what she did to deserve this, and how they couldn't be truly 'saved' in his eyes.
I personally don't know enough about either of them to speak of their ministries in depth, but to say neither of them are saved is NOT his call! Go on about how men get hit also, etc has NOTHING to do with the story at hand. Do I agree with everything she has done? NOPE! I don't agree with all she has done! Do I think she was hurt? Yes I do! They had an employee that saw this, and yet people over hint at the fact...maybe he didn't. ORRRRRRRR what did she do to MAKE him hit! I mean as if we can find a reason GOOD enough to beat your wife! Do I think men get the short end of the stick when this story is reversed? OH YES I do! Very strongly in fact! Do I listen to or AGREE with radical nutcases on either side - men or women - when it comes to this issue that CLAIM they are speaking for their gender? LOL NEVER! I mean we have some CRAZIES on both sides!
What this Pastor and those radicals DON'T understand is MOST people can see past their jaded and slanted views...and see another picture very clearly!
Bishop Weeks hit her plain and simple! The man needs help! Juanita? She also needs help but of a different kind. The fact she had a successful ministry and was called Prophet doesn't take a real man's 'manhood' away enough to justify beating your wife! I do think they both need to step away from ministry, and get their life's back on track! The media buzz towards either side at this point...you have to wonder how good it will do either. She isn't healed enough to be the leader in the domestic abuse stand, and he won't be either in the 'I have changed' arena anytime soon either! That takes time and doesnt' happen over night. WOmen don't just instantly STOP the mindset that got them into abusive relationships, and men don't stop abusing over night either! You want to swap the roles within the last sentence.....lol GO for it! Opinion wouldn't change if reversed either!
Boys and Girls that used to destroy property in their youths, and used to cat fight with others normally grow up and grasp control! MOST of them do! These statements from Pastor Jesse Lee Petersen about how all or most women are rebels, angry, nasty people until some God Fearing man turns them around......it JUNK! Wake up Pastor! There is no scripture to back you up on that gender evilness overall stuff! That is your own jaded mindset, and personally you need to be looking at yourself! GOD HELP the people you counsel! OUCH!
This whole story is sad, and its turning into a circus. YOu have to wonder if anything of substance will come from it. BLECK!
Monday, September 24, 2007
I found this post at Proverbs 31 ministries Daily Devotions What an awesome exercise to do to remind us of the things that are important! WE HAVE JESUS!
The Happy File
By Luann Prater
“Be joyful always.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16 (NIV)
It wasn’t what some would call a perfect day, but to her it was special. We had spent the day together just hanging out around the house. Simple things like lunch on the deck, soaking in the sunshine, and giggling over funny memories traced the outlines of our shared moments. That’s when she whispered a few words as if she were telling herself a secret, “This day is going in my Happy File.”
She explained that her Happy File was a record kept of God’s simple blessings, those moments in time that beam with a little extra spark. You know the ones. When no one else would get it, but whenever you recall it… you smile. Her collection was spilling over the top.
Often we choose to hang onto the bad memories. We relive the abuse. We replay piercing words. We carry the guilt and hold on to the shame. We forget the promise of Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (NIV). No condemnation. Period, nada, zip, none!
She found the Happy File very helpful when darkness came creeping into her life. Satan loves to fill our minds with negative thoughts and trip us up with stumbling blocks. A stash of happiness works like a flashlight in the middle of the night. The evil one can cloud our world with gloom, but when we open the file that holds God’s blessings, the shadows are shattered.
So what are you choosing to keep on file? Here is the deal. Start a collection of Happy Files! God’s fingerprints are all over each day. Look for them! Record them! Recall them!
Next, pull out those old musty files that have collected guilty dust and shameful mildew. One by one as they come to your mind plunge them into God’s thought-shredder. Second Corinthians 10:5 instructs, “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (NIV). When you say this verse out loud, something amazing happens! The thoughts go away! God longs to give you freedom from guilt, shame, worry, and anything else that hinders your ability to be joyful.
When you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you can begin daily to rid your mind of the garbage Satan has dumped on you and replace it with Happy Files. Then you truly can BE JOYFUL ALWAYS.
Dear Father, thank You for forgiving us for every sin we have ever committed and promising never to condemn us for them! Help us each day to choose to live in the freedom of that promise and to be joyful always. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
The Confident Woman by Anabel Gillham
She Speaks! conference
Do You Know Him?
Get a package of index cards that are spiral bound. Begin to record “God moments” on them. Keep this Happy File where you can easily grab it in case of unexpected darkness.
What gloom am I allowing to hang over me?
How can I walk in the light of God’s promise every day?
Why am I resistant to let go of the past?
Psalm 68:3, “But may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful.” (NIV)
Isaiah 55:12, “You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace.” (NIV)
Psalm 40:1, “I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry.” (NIV)
Romans 4:20-21, “Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.” (NIV)
Friday, August 17, 2007
I'm not going to bother linking his video here of him yelling at his daugther! LOL You can get that all over the place now! Here is the interview link from after the fact....LINK
I want to place this family dynamic thing to the side for now okay? If you look at this man's history he has more than enough history of his angry issues if you will! Look at interviews with people NOT agreeing with him for ONE! Name calling is his source of intelligence I guess! If you look at any cause that is fighting for the good of mankind they pick someone without such characteristics! If they want to be successful in the long haul that is! SURE getting someone like Alec on the bandwagon for your cause is a feather in your cap at first, but their behavior in the future won't show the shine so brightly later will it? I have respect for those that can handle themselves EVEN if I don't agree with them!
BIG news that he was coming to do this 'apology' to his daugther! What we heard one or two sentences addressed to that?! The rest was mostly about him wishing to QUIT his job, and take on parential alienation causes! I'm sure father's rights are next! Don't take me as some male basher okay? I truly believe that father's can get the short end of the stick also! I do believe there are parents out there for vindictive reasons wishing their children to HATE the "XSPOUSE" and treat them like the enemy! Shame on them no matter what the gender! I also believe it happens more often than the court system gives credit to also! Father's rights? Again I have a big heart for them as well! The radical ones - they really poop on the cause I'm sorry! Its the same with radical feminists as well! I don't like radicals can you tell? You know the type to busy squaking about the 'femininst' or WHOMEVER they hate that day, and the man hating statements that feminist use! I mean a great big DAHHHHH if they don't think people can point out an extreme radical they can't handle! The way both extreme sides yell it you would think they represent the 'gender' for themselves! LOL Hardly! I was flipping channels one night, and saw on Fox Network an interview with a father's right attorney regarding this whole MESS! SURE he made a couple of 'expected' remarks to help the cause, but overall the man kept his mouth SHUT! I had to giggle because he must know of Alec's background behavior outside the "KIM AND IRELAND" factor! Some causes are just don't need the extra fanfare they people have attached to them....with Alec it shows OUTSIDE the family realm!
Father's rights and Parential Alienation want to kill their 'value' for the cause to fight for wouldn't take on dear old Alec! I have to admit at one time I did think the man was very handsome! In some ways I still do! I don't want to get into the whole "KIM" thing, because I don't agree with all the moves on that side either! They both have major issues from what I have read! Alec has anger and abuse issues outside this whole family dynamic of his x and his daugther! If he was serious about causes he needs to cure his own, and then show the world it CAN be done! If his child is anything like most children with an angry parent they love them deep inside, but they dream of having that relationship they may never have also. Personally, he could actually have something to show to a cause if he would. The two causes he seems to be targeting I don't think should touch him with a 10-foot pole! He is a lose cannon in alot of fashions that don't have anything to do with this Xwife or daughter!
Don't even get me started on Dr PHIL! The man's heart seems to be in the good place, but he can't even follow his own advice! Past behavior is a picture of future behavior! Hey DOC - look outside his X and daugther factor to see the pattern here! Shame on both of them using each other to better their image!
The interview was a JOKE to say the least! SURE he had some good points, but not coming from HIM! LOL For legitimate cases YES! Kim is no angel, and I'm sure has her major flakey sides so I don't think she is perfectly innocent in EVERY matter possible! Alec did take this opportunity to slam her once again tho! Good fathers don't slam mothers in a way that daugther's can hear about Alec! If you are the bigger one - STOP adding logs to the flame and you MIGHT get some of the RIGHT attention! I'm sure it feels good to slam your Xwife on TV, but think a bit harder about what effect that has on your child! You need to vent that - that is what you have friends for! The media is the wrong place!
The option to release the tape was in bad taste no matter WHOM released it! Ireland has this 'label' placed on her for the rest of her life! YES we all say nasty things to our children on occasion! I'm sure the ones that claim they have said things JUST as bad - like the interview - are just feeling fine with themselves! The truth of the matter is that if this is something that is regular SEEK help! GRASP its denial, and read some posts from other bloggers about having to LIVE with this type of language and see the sarcasm and TRUTH behind those posts! There are alot of bloggers reading about growing up with parents that acted like this, and you might be surprised about what they have to say about BOTH parents! Children want to love the abusive parent! True love for your child in return - that most didn't get I don't think in their lifetime - would be a gift of so many returns!
Friday, August 10, 2007
Link Here for Music only if you would like!
This song just touches me, and it reminds us what Jesus did for us!
Watch the Lamb
Walking on the road to Jerusalem
The time had come to sacrifice again
My two small sons they walked beside me down the road
The reason that they came was to watch the lamb
They said, Daddy, daddy what will we see there
There’s so much that we don’t understand
So I told them of Moses and Father Abraham
And then I said dear children watch the lamb
There will be so many in Jerusalem today
We must be sure this little lamb doesn’t run away
And I told them of Moses and Father Abraham
And then I said dear children watch the lamb
When we reached the city I knew something must be wrong
There were no joyful worshippers there were no joyful worship songs
And I stood there with my children in the midst of angry men
Then I heard the crowd cry out,
Let’s crucify Him
We tried to leave the city but we could not get away
Forced to play in this drama a part I did not want to play
Why upon this day were men condemned to die
Why were we standing right here where soon they would pass by
I look and I said even now they come
The first one cried for mercy, the people gave him none
The second one was violent and he was arrogant and loud
I still can hear his angry voice screaming at the crowd
Then someone said there’s Jesus and I scarce believed my eyes
A man so badly beaten He barely looked alive
Blood poured from His body from the thorns on His brow
Running down the cross and falling to the ground
I watched Him as He struggled and I watched Him when He fell
The cross came down upon His back, the crowd began to yell
In that moment I felt such agony in that moment I felt such loss
Until a Roman soldier grabbed my arm and screamed "you carry His cross"
At first I tried to resist him but his hand reached for his sword
And so I knelt and I took the cross from the Lord
I put it on my shoulder we started down the street
The blood that He’d been shedding was running down my cheek
They led us to Golgotha they drove nails deep in His feet and hands
On the cross I heard Him pray "Father forgive them"
Never have I seen such love in any other eyes
"Into They hands I commit My spirit" He prayed and then He died
I stood for what seemed like years lost all sense of time
Then I felt these little hands holding on to mine
My children stood there weeping and I heard the oldest say
Father please forgive us the lamb ran away
Daddy, daddy what have we seen here
There’s so much that we don’t understand
So I took them in my arms we turned and faced the cross
And I said dear children Watch the Lamb